Eyes That Know Me, and I Can't Go Back
by BreakEven01
Summary: Sequal to All Think About Is How To Make You Think Of Me. Rachel and Finn meet so that Rachel can confess her feelings, will it go over well or will she be laft heart broken? Rachel, Rachel/Finn. One-Shot.


She swore the clock on the wall was ticking backwards. How was it was the same time it was the last time she had checked it. The day was going on at a speed that would make snails look like Olympic runners. She had started wondering why she had said that she wanted to talk to him at the end of the day. Why not in the morning? Or during lunch? Every hour it got closer to the end of the day she felt less and less sure about what she was going to tell him or how she was going to tell him. It wasn't everyday she told the boy she was in love with that she was in love with him. She had only done that once, to Tommy Watts in the first grade, he threw dirt at her and accused her of having cooties. She was sure that wasn't going to happen this time but she wasn't sure that he wasn't going to hurt her all the same.

It was only fourth hour she still had two more to get through and her next hour, English, she had with Finn. She was sure he would ask her what she wanted to talk about after school and she thought that maybe she could just cancel it then and there and go back to living like nothing was wrong with her at all. She shot that idea down as soon as it entered her head. She couldn't hold this inside anymore, she didn't want to anymore. No, he had to know, she had to tell him, today.

When the bell rang indicating the end of fourth hour Rachel took as much time as she could putting her things in her backpack and by the time she was leaving the class most everyone from the next hour had filled into the room. She had to book it across the school to get to her English class and by the time she got there the teacher had already called everyone to order and they all were just sitting whispering to themselves as the teacher took roll.

Everyone gave her a quick glance when she walked in and then they continued with their conversations and the teacher murmured something like, "Nice of you to join us," as she passed by to her seat right in front of the person she was trying to avoid completely. But there was no avoiding him, not when he was sitting there leaning over his desk to give her a quick wink and a "hey you,". He did that everyday and each and everyday it gave Rachel's heart a quick leap and a small blush reach her face. Damn she loved him so much, and he didn't even realize it.

"For a second I thought you weren't going to show up," he said whispering softly like everyone else. Rachel refused to look back at him as she sat down, "but then I thought, Duh you are going to show up, you are Rachel Berry, you never miss a class," he continued.

"I just had a lot of things I had to put in my bag in my last class, it took a while," she lied. She still kept her back to him, she would not look back, if she did then there would be no concentrating through the rest of the class. She would just be thinking of how adorable he looked in whatever he was wearing today and how amazing his hair and eyes looked. No she would not look back at him.

Finn on the other hand was confused by her refusal to look at him and thought she was giving him the cold shoulder for something he had done wrong, "Did I do something to offend you?"

"No why would you say that?" Rachel asked looking as confused as he felt at the moment.

"Well you come in late," he stated.

"I told you I had a lot of,"

"then you don't even look at me when you came in," he cut her off, "And now you won't even look at me when we are talking to each other. Did I do something to piss you off?"

Rachel sighed deeply and decided there was no way around it. She quickly spun in her chair, her breath caught in her throat and she said goodbye to any chance of paying attention to class this hour. He was sitting there in a nicely fitted polo shirt, his hair was a little ruffled, like he had slept on it wrong and now it was stuck poking out in an odd but super cute way, and he had this confused-sad face on that made a smile reach her lips. It could have possibly been the most adorable thing she had ever seen in her life. She fought off the urge to laugh at his expression, she knew that would just confuse him more, "You didn't do anything. I honestly just dropped something's on the floor last hour and I had to pick everything up so it took a while. And I thought class was already started so that's why I didn't look at you. Plus I didn't get much sleep so I'm a little out of it," she knew she was lying to him but now was not the place or time to tell him the truth.

His eyes narrowed. He was doing that thing with his eyes again, looking right through her.

It was becoming harder to breathe with each moment he didn't say anything. Finally his eyes let up a bit like he decided to believe what she was telling him, "You sure that's all?"

Rachel nodded, "Yes that's all."

"We still meeting in the auditorium after school?" he almost sounded hopeful, but Rachel just brushed it off.

"Yeah, I just need to talk to you about something." she then turned back in her seat to face the front of the room.

She could feel Finn smile behind her. How she could tell, she wasn't sure, but she could tell, "Something good?" he whispered.

"Not sure. I guess you'll have to show up and find out." she said. She heard him laugh lightly then he leaned back in his chair as the teacher stood up and started to write on the white board.

By half way through the class Rachel had given up any chance of concentrating, all she could think about was the boy sitting behind her and the time on the wall. How was she suppose to pay attention when in a matter of hours she would be holding her heart out to Finn. She hoped he would take it and give her his in return but she was preparing herself for the worst. She had the whole "I understand if you just want to be friends" speech all worked out in her head she just hoped she could get through it with out bursting out in tears. Every few minutes should would have small panic attacks and starting telling herself not to go through with it but than she would feel a gentle tapping on the leg of her chair from Finn tapping his foot against it and she would remember she had to do it. She had to take the leap and hope with her whole heart he would take it with her.

When the class bell rang she sprang from her seat and bolted out of the door only somewhat hearing Finn shout "See you later!" behind her. She had one last hour to get through and she knew if she stayed behind and waited for him he would walk her to her class and her mind would get all foggy. She needed to not have a foggy mind for one hour, at least.

If the other hours had gone by too slow, the last one went by too fast. It was like the second she sat down she was suppose to get up to leave. She wasn't ready for her and Finn's talk, not yet, but she told him she would be there and she couldn't not show up because that was rude and Rachel liked to think that she wasn't a rude person. Sure she told someone off when they weren't singing on key or they were a beat behind in a dance step, but that wasn't being rude that was being constructive.

She decided that before she could go talk to Finn she should go get things out of her locker so she could go home right after, then she went to a bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. Once she had done this it was 15 minutes after the last bell and there was no putting it off any longer.

The auditorium door felt heavier then it did most days as she swung it open and walked in. From the top of the walk way she could see Finn was already there, lying down on his back, legs swinging off the edge of the stage, he was throwing what looked like a rubber ball into the air and catching it. Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath in and then started toward him. She cleared her throat to make her presence known to him. Finn caught he ball one last time sat up and smiled at her, "Finally, I thought you were standing me up." he laughed.

She smiled and put her bag down on one of the front row chairs, "No I just had to go to my locker and grab some things." he nodded and then they both just sat there awkward as possible not saying a things.

He was tapping his foot again, it was almost like a nervous habit but Rachel couldn't seem to understand what he was nervous about, she was the one who was going to bare her soul to him.

"So," he finally said sitting up straighter, "what did you want to talk about?"

"Ummm," Rachel then walked over to the empty space next to him and hoisted herself up onto the edge of the stage, "I just need to tell you something."

"Ok," he spun a little bit over so he was facing her more, "shoot."

Rachel looked at her hands in her lap than up at him, "You have to promise you will let me say everything I have to say and not interrupt me. Can you do that?" Finn nodded and Rachel took another deep breath then looked straight ahead at the empty seats, she was going to tell him but that didn't mean she had to look right at him as she did, "My whole life I have been very independent. I never needed anyone and I never wanted anyone. I just figured if I got close to someone they would hold me back from my dreams. And that kind of mind set is the reason no one in this school ever so much as talked to me until a few weeks ago and then," she paused looking back down at her hands.

She could feel his eyes burning into the side of her face, "and then what?"

She finally tuned her head to meet his eyes, "and then you happened." she said, "you showed up in my life and threw my life into a tailspin. I started thinking less about what I wanted but about what you wanted. Less about what would make me happy and more about what would make you happy. You've become my best friend, my equal, my," Rachel let her word run off. Finn looked at her harder trying to figure out where all his was going.

"You're what?" he asked scooting a bit closer to her.

"My everything," she said simply, "I'm falling for you Finn, big time. I've tried not to. You have a girlfriend who you care about and who cares about you. And you were with her way before me, but every time I try not to fall for you something happens. You will smile at me, or sit with me at lunch, or buy my a candy bar from the vending machine when I'm feeling gloomy. And than I'm right where I started, hopelessly in love with you," she was probably saying too much but she couldn't stop now she had said to much as it was, "I'm in love with you Finn and even if you don't feel the same way I thought you should know." she finally said taking a deep breath and looking away from him again into the empty seats.

The longest silence that she had ever sat through followed after Rachel finished. She could feel his eyes still staring at her. It was like he wasn't even blinking. Like he was in such a state of shock he could have gone catatonic. It was one of those silences that if a pin fell across the room, you could hear it. Rachel finally looked over at him said, "Please say something."

"I-um-I," he cleared his throat, causing Rachel to turn away again, "I'm not sure what to say right now." they sat in silence for another minute until he grabbed Rachel's hand from her lap, sending waves of sparks through her entire being, "Rach," Rachel kept on looking up into the empty seats afraid of what she knew he was going to say next, "Rachel please look at me," she acted as if she didn't hear him which only caused him to lift his hand to her cheek and turn her head to face him, "Rachel," she hadn't ever noticed that he scooted closer to her so it came as a shock when she looked up at him and his face was merely inches away from her own, "why didn't you tell me sooner?" his hand was warm on the side of her face, "If I had known, if you had told me," he seemed to be having as much trouble finding the right words to say as she had, "what I mean to say is I feel the same way. I felt like I was going crazy. For the past few weeks all I have been able to think about is you, I mean I even broke up with Quinn last week because I knew that with everything I was feeling for you I wasn't being fair to her," Rachel's eyes went wide she couldn't believe what she was hearing, "I was going to tell you, I just could never find the right words,"

"You really feel the same way?" she asked just making sure she wasn't dreaming.

He nodded, "Yeah I do. But why did you wait this long?"

She shook her head lightly, trying to clear her head, "I don't know, I was afraid that you would laugh at me or say 'Rachel you such a good friend'. I was just scared," her breath hitched on the last word because he moved his face closer her own.

He was so close now that she could feel his breath on her lips. It took every bit of energy not to faint right then and there, "Are you scared now?" he whispered.

"Yes," she whispered back trying to keep her eyes from fluttering close.

Their lips were about to touch when he simply whispered back, "Don't be," and then her mind switched off. The feel of his lips on hers made every part of her body completely shut down so she could only feel his lips on hers and nothing else. It was one of the greatest feelings she had ever felt and she was now questioning why she had ever thought about not telling him. After a moment she realized that she was pretty much just sitting there doing nothing so she carefully moved her hand to the back of his head, making sure she didn't make him pull away in the process and began running her hand through his unbelievably soft hair trying to bring him closer to her and causing a shiver to rub down Finn's spine. He must have understood what she was trying to do and shifted his body toward her more on the ledge and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. It wasn't the most comfortable position in the entire world but Rachel barely even noticed because one of Finn's hands, the one that was rested on the side of her face was now mirroring her hand that was in his hair pulling his face closer to his. Slowly without any recollection of why she did it, she opened her mouth to his and without any hesitation his tongue began brushing slowly against her own.

Rachel wasn't not an expert when it came to kissing, seeing as this was her only real kiss, but she thought they were both pretty damn good at it. It felt like they were meant to be doing this. Everything just felt right, felt perfect. She would live a happy life if she could just keep doing this forever. It was when Finn finally pulled away for some much needed air that Rachel noticed both of them were struggling to catch their breath. She laughed lightly as he leaned his forehead against her own.

"If I knew that's what kissing you was like I would have told you weeks ago," Rachel said through heavy breaths.

Finn laughed lightly with his eyes still closed, "Same here." finally he opened his eyes and smiled at her, "I got to say I'm glad that you have been secretly in love with me," he said grabbing the her hand that wasn't still placed on the back of his head with the had that was on her cheek and intertwining their fingers.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I was starting to think you were just stalking me during football practices." he smiled wider.

Rachel's eyes went wide again and all the color went out of her face, "You saw me?"

"Yeah I saw you, you aren't exactly ninja stealthy. You always come out of school at exactly 3:30 and get into a baby blue Mini Cooper, you sit there for about 15 minutes then drive off," he laughed rubbing his nose lightly against her own.

"I guess I have to start being more 'stealthy'," she said closing her eyes to the feel of his skin on her own.

"How about next time you stay, wait for practice to get over and we can go grab something to eat and catch a movie," he stated not really asking her.

"I'd like that," she smiled, "but right now what I really want to do is this," she then leaned in and met his lips for a second time. This was a quick gentle kiss, but still seemed to make all the air in her body leave. When they broke away this time Finn sat further back and grabbed his backpack from behind him.

"Which reminds me, I'm late and coach is going to kill me," he jumped from the stage and turned back to her holding his hand out for her to grab, "If it makes any difference I'm pretty sure I've walked by your house 60 times in the past week," he said smiling a little wider," so you aren't the only stalker here."

Rachel grabbed his hand and slide off the stage, "Yeah that helps a little," she held onto his hand as they left auditorium. Together.


End file.
